All too often we are stuck in the trap of evolutionary thinking. A little change here, a little change here and things will eventually get better. I’ve even been a proponent of that approach…including here on this blog. The ideal is that small changes, made over time lead to enormous improvements. This is a truism, you cut a few calories every day, do a little bit of exercise, and start acting healthier, and in a while you\u2019ll be a brand new you. The results are always amazing.<\/p>\n
The problem is, evolutionary thinking takes time. It often takes a lot of time. If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re not great at the delayed satisfaction that an incremental approach takes. The results are certainly worth the wait, but the waiting is excruciating.<\/p>\n
So if evolutionary thinking is based on an incremental approach, and it takes time that we don\u2019t (or don\u2019t want to) have…what\u2019s another option?<\/p>\n
Revolutionary Thinking.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m talking about the kind of thinking that scares the living daylights out of you. The kind of thinking that is sometimes considered impractical, over-the-top, or even reckless.<\/p>\n
Let me give you an example.<\/p>\n
As I\u2019ve mentioned before, we have a large, very busy family. Saying that we\u2019re active is such an understatement that it\u2019s almost laughable. To manage our lives, we all have to make choices about those things that matter most to us. As a kid growing up, one of the most important things to my Mom was to have a neat, clean, and orderly home. Her choice was to make sure that everything was ordered so that our lives didn\u2019t have clutter. Without clutter, things worked smoothly…everything in it\u2019s place and every place for its things. Since she was a bookkeeper and a library at different times during her working life, that makes absolute sense. You talk about two jobs that perfectly fit her skill set. It was no wonder that our house was the same. We didn\u2019t get quite so far as labeling everything, but sometimes I wonder whether that was the next logical step.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, my wife and I have a different approach. We would like things to be neat and clean. We would even like order. But that means that we would have to compromise some of the other aspects of our lives. Exercise takes a lot of time, so some of that time would have to go. Watching the kids in sports is a huge time-eater. Cut some of that out and trade it off for house-cleaning time. Work. That eats up a bunch of time, and with our careers we can (and do) work at all times of the day and night. Cut back on that and we could get this house whipped into shape. Make a few changes here, allocate some time different there, and little by little the house will look like Mary Poppins is in charge.<\/p>\n
But let\u2019s face it, no matter how much laundry we do, there will be more clothes tomorrow. The darned kids expect to eat three, four, five meals a day, every darned stinking day. Mail will keep arriving. Things will need repaired. Newspapers will continue to stack up. So no matter how much we improve incrementally, there will still be more to do tomorrow. A little bit of change will help, and over time we may be able to conquer this problem. Evolutionary thinking (and actions) got us here, so evolutionary thinking should be able to get us out. Unfortunately, our spiral into the mess (both figurative and literal) that we current have took a long time. I just don\u2019t see how it\u2019s going to get fixed faster than it took to get us to this point. We\u2019ve been married 26 years and had kids for 24 years. If I wait that long to have everything sorted out I\u2019ll be way, way too old to enjoy the newfound organization. But…there\u2019s nothing I can do, I just need to get everybody pulling their figurative oars the same way and we\u2019ll make little improvements everyday.<\/p>\n
Really? Yup, I\u2019ve said it over and over. I\u2019ve gotten caught in that evolutionary thinking. I\u2019ve tried method after plan after exercise. We\u2019ve made progress, only to slip back under the load of the new stuff that finds its way into our homes, the new tasks that need to be done, and the new experiences that are crying out for our attention.<\/p>\n
So for several months I\u2019ve ween wallowing in my pit of self-pity, eating my snickers bars (fun size, because you can eat a lot more of those and not feel as guilty…they\u2019re \u201cfun\u201d you know!), and basically watching the house go to crap. Again.<\/p>\n
So 60 days ago I started this blog. I mean, if I\u2019m already in over my head, why not add something to the plate. Once you\u2019re underwater it\u2019s only a matter of time until you either surface or drown. Why not speed up the tipping point? So I added more work to my already hectic life. It seemed like the obvious, logical thing to do.<\/p>\n
Understand that once I make a commitment to something, I hate to let people down. I mean, I don\u2019t just dislike it. I hate it. HATE IT. It makes me feel like a total failure and the worst person on the planet. So if I commit to something, I\u2019m at it 100%. All the time. No let up. I don\u2019t post the time that my blogs are written for a reason. You would think I\u2019m crazy. You would actually get a sense of how truly hectic my life is. I\u2019ve now written 30 blogs and I think I\u2019ve written during every hour on the clock. I\u2019m not joking, stuff pops into my head and I\u2019m at the computer in an instant. So I\u2019ve made this commitment to you that I\u2019ll get these posts out three times a week, on Tuesday, Thursday and on the weekend (Saturday usually, but I won\u2019t commit to that specific day quite yet, so you may see Saturday or Sunday). I\u2019ve toyed with more frequent posting, but I\u2019m fighting that temptation right now.<\/p>\n
So I made this totally nutso choice to start a blog when I\u2019ve got so many other things going on. Like I said, it seemed like the obvious, logical thing to do. At least in my twisted way of looking at things.<\/p>\n
And the funny things was…it turned out to actually be obvious and logical. Ironically, this sort of revolutionary thinking…add more work to the breaking point…has turned out to be really helpful to me. Not only am I getting blog posts written, but I\u2019m making progress in several other projects that will roll out before year\u2019s end. The house, while not immaculate, has had moments of improvement that are noticeable. I\u2019ve taken the time to interact with my diaspora children in Maine, Colorado, Iowa, and New York to a much greater degree than previously. I\u2019ve sat at the dinner table while one or more of the kids have been doing homework and just talked about whatever was on their mind.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m even making progress on washing\/drying\/folding the loads of laundry that go through this house. I\u2019m working towards getting out of the bad habit of washing\/drying\/piling that I\u2019ve gotten into. I\u2019ve even washed some pots and pans after using them.<\/p>\n
In a way, it sounds like evolutionary progress. At one level it is. Some small things have been made better. But that\u2019s just the surface or exterior that everybody sees. The biggest change is what\u2019s been going on in my head. My thinking<\/em> has actually changed. I\u2019m not just looking at tiny fixes and improvements anymore. I\u2019m looking at ways to shake the tree at the roots, not just at the branches.<\/p>\n For instance, I started to actually get rid of a bunch of stuff. I use the term \u201cstuff\u201d specifically to refer to all the various types of things that I have a tendency to collect. Magazines. Books. Newspapers. Computer cables. Computers. Old cell phones. Pens. Old cameras. I once had an English teacher who freaked out whenever we used the word \u201cstuff\u201d in a paper. She would always say \u201cyou have to be more specific\u201d. But in this case, I am being specific. I\u2019m talking about all the things that don\u2019t really need to have a place. I\u2019m talking about places that don\u2019t need to have stuff in them.<\/p>\n For me, that\u2019s revolutionary thinking. Rather than being packed to the gills, stacked to the knees, and navigating around tottering piles…life can be a little bit more about order. But to keep things ordered and not give up all the other things that I want to do, I discovered that I need to get rid of stuff. The equation actually seemed pretty simple, and came to me in a revolutionary moment. I could keep moving forwards with the same amount of stuff, have the same commitments to the things that I want to do, and have the same level of underlying anxiety that I\u2019ve had for as long as I can remember. That was one approach, and based on my long-term use of that approach, it had some validity.<\/p>\n Alternatively, I could change one of those three things (stuff, commitments, or anxiety) and see how the equation changed. I\u2019ve tried to reduce my anxiety in the past through external and internal means. I\u2019ve done the meditation thing. I\u2019ve tried exercise as release. I\u2019ve taken all kinds of actions to reduce my anxiety, but nothing really worked for long. I\u2019ve tried to reduce my commitments. To some extent I\u2019ve succeeded. But I\u2019m not willing to give up the support of the kids, especially at their sporting events. I\u2019ve tried it and the end result was an increase in anxiety.<\/p>\n So that left me with trying to approach my stuff. My evolutionary thinking had been to get rid of a little at a time. But new stuff kept arriving. I really wasn\u2019t making any headway. But then the thought hit me that I need to be ruthless. If the particular stuff at hand isn\u2019t service a specific purpose, within a reasonable timeframe, then somebody else should get the opportunity to use that stuff. This was a revolutionary change in focus for me.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re a packrat, from a family of hyper-organized packrats, this is a HUGE change. There is such a thing as too much stuff. Mind blowing! Maybe not to you, but certainly to me.<\/p>\n So now all my stuff is being analyzed. It\u2019s utility is being measured. And decision are being made as to whether to donate, store, or pitch. If it\u2019s being stored, it\u2019s being labeled, grouped with like stuff, and put in a logical permanent storage place.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll admit, I\u2019m not too far into the revolution yet. I\u2019m feeling the tug back to my former lazy ways, but I\u2019ve been able to fight it. And now, I\u2019ve held myself up as an example to you as somebody who can not only think in a revolutionary way, but also act in a revolutionary way. That to me is a commitment. And as I said before, I\u2019m all about commitments.<\/p>\n So I\u2019ll admit it. I got you to read all the way to the end of this post just to use you as the other party in my commitment to get rid of my stuff. To simplify my life. To change for the better.<\/p>\n