{"id":22,"date":"2013-08-22T13:43:22","date_gmt":"2013-08-22T13:43:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/page-clan.com\/hectic-dad\/?p=22"},"modified":"2015-06-12T16:21:58","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T21:21:58","slug":"thats-good-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/thats-good-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"That’s Good Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHurry up and get out of the bathroom, you look fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

How many times have I said that to one kid or another? Time after time I\u2019m trying to get the kids to complete a task and move on to the next thing. They seem to take forever, obsessing over the smallest detail.<\/p>\n

On the flip side, there are far too many times that I’ve read one or another the riot act for not doing a job well enough<\/em>. At least not to the degree that I want it done. In our household, when we\u2019re cleaning my Mom is the gold standard<\/strong>. If I want something cleaned to the point that dust is afraid to return, I say \u201cClean it like Grandma Juanita would\u201d. Of course, cleaning that well takes a certain amount of practice, dedication, and care. Frankly, no one in my household quite has the knack to meet that standard. We try, but we don\u2019t quite get there. When I set the kids on a cleaning task \u201clike Grandma Juanita would\u201d, I\u2019m pretty much setting them up for failure. That doesn’t stop me from complaining that they failed to meet the standard, but in the back of my mind I know what I\u2019ve done.<\/p>\n

So there it is…the double standard. Hurry up, but be perfect. At the root of it, that\u2019s my problem. I\u2019m a perfectionist. At least deep down in my psyche I am. If you look around my office you\u2019d question that statement. I\u2019m not exactly a neat freak in here. The house is pretty much the same. I often convince myself it\u2019s because we have up to 12 people living here on a semi-permanent basis, but let\u2019s face it…people with a lot going on can choose to keep their house immaculate. I\u2019m not one of those people, and as they say \u201cThe fish rots from the head\u201d, so my leadership<\/em> in that category gives us the messy house.<\/p>\n

But, I am a perfectionist. I expect that everything will be done correctly. If it\u2019s not done correctly the first time (it happens), then I expect that the work will be redone to the original standard or better. When I\u2019m doing the work, that\u2019s how I approach things. When somebody else is doing something, I don\u2019t expect to have to say \u201cif you didn’t do it right, go back and redo it\u201d. I expect that attitude to be ingrained in everybody.<\/p>\n

And there\u2019s the rub. Some things just aren’t worth doing perfectly. There, I’ve said it. I\u2019ll even repeat it for emphasis:<\/p>\n

Some things\u00a0aren’t\u00a0worth doing perfectly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"When you think about it, that\u2019s a somewhat astonishing statement. It rocks the foundation of the perfectionist ideal. If my Mom reads this, I hope she\u2019s sitting down. It\u2019s not something that we perfectionists recognize. The echoes of our culture are all about us, \u201cIf a job\u2019s worth doing, it\u2019s worth doing well\u201d. As a perfectionist, I’ve always heard that as, \u201cIf a job\u2019s worth doing, it\u2019s worth doing perfectly\u201d. I was always told to take pride in my work. Do it right the first time.<\/p>\n

Heck, some of the greatest orators and writers of all time have weighed in on the subject:<\/p>\n

Well done is better than well said.<\/a> Benjamin Franklin<\/a><\/p>\n

The reward of a thing well done is having done it. <\/a>Ralph Waldo Emerson<\/a><\/p>\n

What is once well done is done forever. <\/a>Henry David Thoreau<\/a><\/p>\n

Better a little which is well done, than a great deal imperfectly. <\/a>Plato<\/a><\/p>\n

True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new. <\/a>Antoine de Saint-Exupery<\/a><\/p>\n

The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more. <\/a>Jonas Salk<\/a><\/p>\n

(Snotty Remark<\/strong>: I\u2019ll admit it, the last one is more of a threat than all that motivational, but he does have a point. Get the job done and you have the opportunity<\/em> to do more jobs, hopefully some that you\u2019ll like.)<\/p>\n

(thanks to http:\/\/www.brainyquote.com\/quotes\/keywords\/well_done.html<\/a> for those quotes)<\/p>\n

Talk about taking on some of the best and brightest who have ever been around. These guys are some heavy hitters! But I\u2019m here pleading with you to consider that some things just aren’t worth doing perfectly<\/strong>. Quit reading well<\/em> as perfectly<\/em>. For instance, when you take out the garbage there is a certain goal in mind, namely getting the garbage all the way to the trash can. The right way<\/em>, in my world, is for all the garbage to travel in the bag all the way out to the trash can. No walking back to pick up the Kleenex that fell on the sidewalk. No stooping to pick up the cereal box that got away. One trip. Neat, clean, simple. But honestly, so what if you have to bop back and grab the Kleenex and the cereal box. Is it that big a deal. So the first trip wasn’t perfect.<\/p>\n

Taking out the trash is worth doing, and worth doing well. But agonizing over the perfection in taking out the trash is pointless. Honestly, don\u2019t we have better things to worry about?<\/p>\n

I catch myself distressing over small tasks that I delegate to the kids. I want the job done a certain way, and when they don\u2019t meet that expectation I, often as not, go ballistic. I’ve even said things like, \u201cYou are welcome to do this job any way you want, as long as you do it my way. There are dozens of wrongs ways, and there\u2019s my way.\u201d Sometimes I don\u2019t even add the phrase \u201cand my way is the right way\u201d part. That\u2019s pretty much a given.<\/p>\n

Seriously, I’ve said it loads of times. Idiotic, I know. It\u2019s not really delegation if I have to control every aspect of the job. Don\u2019t bring up the exceptions here (there is only one right way to light the dynamite so you don\u2019t blow your hand off kind of thing) , that\u2019s going to ruin my point.<\/p>\n

Stick with me on this…what\u2019s more important: Getting a job accomplished, or getting it done your way<\/em>? I don\u2019t like to admit that I don\u2019t know the best way to do every task. Heck, sometimes I don\u2019t even know a good way to do the task. But I\u2019m still micromanaging the kids when I tell them to take out the garbage. To use a business metaphor, I\u2019m treating them like employees instead of independent contractors. I\u2019m looking to direct every part of their jobs, and I expect them to only apply creativity to the tasks when it really doesn’t matter.<\/p>\n

What I should be doing is treating them like independent contractors. Like black boxes<\/em> if you will. I need to define the outcome<\/em> that I\u2019m looking for. The end result. Then I need to communicate that clearly to them. Then it\u2019s in their court. I really shouldn’t care about how the job gets done. There would be so much more harmony in our household if I would just concentrate on the outcomes<\/em> and not the steps towards that result. Sure, there are teachable moments along the way, \u201cUmmm, I know that it seemed like a good idea at the time, but how do anticipate getting all the trash off the roof after you threw the bag over the garage\u201d sorts of things. Sure, there are some things that I think I know, from my years of experience, that I might be able to pass on. Then again, there\u2019s a lot of creativity out there that I haven\u2019t been exposed to. Heck, I might even learn a good, better, or best way to do a task. Let\u2019s face it, I won\u2019t have my free laborers around here for ever, they\u2019re going to move out someday. I might was well learn from them while they\u2019re here. Right?<\/p>\n

So my nugget of wisdom for today: Some things aren’t worth doing perfectly<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Now, find a bunch of jobs for your kids and set them to it. Sit back and relax with a bowl of ice cream and let them work away. Don\u2019t worry, everything will get done eventually. And if everything doesn’t get done, well\u2026<\/p>\n

Some things\u00a0aren’t\u00a0worth doing perfectly<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\"Mummascribbles\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHurry up and get out of the bathroom, you look fine!\u201d How many times have I said that to one kid or another? Time after time I\u2019m trying to get the kids to complete a task and move on to the next thing. They seem to take forever, obsessing over the smallest detail. On the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1901,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,7,8],"tags":[22,31,44,50],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-perfectionist","category-productivity","tag-creativity","tag-father","tag-housework","tag-kids"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nThat's Good Enough -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/thats-good-enough\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"That's Good Enough -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cHurry up and get out of the bathroom, you look fine!\u201d How many times have I said that to one kid or another? 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