{"id":3609,"date":"2015-10-15T05:21:36","date_gmt":"2015-10-15T10:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/?p=3609"},"modified":"2015-10-16T21:16:15","modified_gmt":"2015-10-17T02:16:15","slug":"its-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/its-fine\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Fine."},"content":{"rendered":"

I believe my native tongue is\u00a0Synonym<\/em>. I have this tremendous ability to find words that mean\u00a0exactly<\/em> what I want to say. It’s just one of those gifts that I have. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked “what’s another word for ______?” and been able to come up with a synonym on the spot.<\/p>\n

As an ancillary trait, I have a very broad range of adjectives to describe people, places, and things. Especially food. I’ve had\u00a0amazing<\/em> meals. I’ve had\u00a0stupendous<\/em> appetizers.\u00a0Terrific<\/em> entrees. I’ve completed meals with\u00a0epic<\/em> desserts. On the other end of the spectrum I’ve had\u00a0disgusting<\/em> desserts,\u00a0awful<\/em> entrees, and\u00a0gross<\/em> appetizers. You get the idea, my descriptions of food follow a rollercoaster, from the depths of\u00a0yucky<\/em> to the heights of\u00a0stunning<\/em>. Seldom, if ever, will you hear me describe a food or meal as average or acceptable. Sure, those meals happen, but I can always find something to rave about from either a positive or negative perspective.<\/p>\n

Frankly, my family gets tired of it. I know they do…they’ve told me. But my enthusiasm, as well as my expectations, for food don’t seem to change. I’m still ranting and raving about food after all these years. It’s not likely to stop. But there is one phrase that drives me crazy:<\/p>\n

\n

It’s fine.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\"sandwich-924834_640\"Oh what I would give for that phrase to be banished from my family’s vocabulary. Especially my wife’s. You see, we’ve been married for 29 years, and I’ve been our family cook the entire time. It’s taken me 29 years to come to grips with the fact that\u00a0it’s fine<\/strong> isn’t derogatory in any way. You see, my wife sorely lacks for food adjectives. Food is merely something to provide sustenance. It’s not to revel. Not an object to savor. You sit down, you eat, you finish. To her a meal is something you simply consume. She doesn’t see the point in pondering something that is (1) fleeting and (2) will be digested away in a short while. Food is just food to her. Meals aren’t an experience but rather a short respite in an otherwise busy day.<\/p>\n

For years I would ask her how she liked whatever I had lavishly prepared. I would get the answer\u00a0it’s fine<\/strong> and I would be devastated.\u00a0Fine<\/em> is the flatline of meals to me. It’s a way of expressing that the meal meets sustenance needs and nothing more. I would spend hours pondering how to improve my cooking. How to add flavor, texture, or improve the presentation. It never dawned on me that\u00a0it’s fine<\/strong> meant\u00a0exactly<\/em> that. I would have killed to hear\u00a0delicious<\/em> or\u00a0even\u00a0gross<\/em> from her. I would have loved to know that my time spent in the kitchen had impacted her in some way other than merely as a means to energy consumption.<\/p>\n

When the kids came alone, we taught them to be polite and never say they\u00a0hated<\/em> anything. But every time we corrected them, a little bit of something inside me died. If they\u00a0hated<\/em> certain foods, then they also\u00a0loved<\/em> others. It was as if we were flattening the curve on both he bottom and the top. I dreaded the day that the kids would tell me the meal they’d just eaten was\u00a0fine<\/em>.<\/p>\n

As the kids got older and began to help out in the kitchen, I taught them about flavors. I taught them about the different kinds of spices. We discussed\u00a0aromatic spices<\/em> at length and how they differed from\u00a0savory spices<\/em>. The kids smelled and tasted all the different ingredients as we prepared meals. They learned that the salsa you make today won’t be any good until the flavors had a chance to blend. They learned that it could take\u00a0days<\/em> for that transformation that turned the mixture from tomato goop into delicious\u00a0salsa. They learned how to marinate to infuse flavor. They learned the art of slow cooking to imbue smokiness into ribs or chicken. Each day was an adventure, and the adjectives of food slowly entered their vocabulary. I thought I’d won, teaching my kids the adjectives related to food.<\/p>\n

Yet things took a disappointing turn during our dinner the other night. I made bierocks and was quite pleased with their outcome. If you’re not familiar with bierocks, they are a dough\u00a0filled wth a ground beef\u00a0and cabbage mixture then baked to perfection.\u00a0Honestly, I haven’t made bierocks in a while, so I was curious what everybody thought of them. When I asked “How do you like the bierocks”, my wife answer “It’s fine”.<\/p>\n

I almost died as the kids followed suit. To me they were saying\u00a0average<\/em>,\u00a0mediocre<\/em>,\u00a0just barely\u00a0<\/em>sustenance<\/i>. My sense of disappointment was enormous.<\/p>\n

When I asked for clarification I was told that my rollercoaster of adjectives wasn’t necessary. In the family’s opinion bierocks were to be somewhat without flavor, just meat and bread. Nothing more, nothing less. These met that requirement, so they were\u00a0fine<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Obviously, if I’m writing a post about it, the idea of it’s fine<\/i> is really bothering me. Even though I should be able to accept that\u00a0just fine<\/em> is acceptable to everyone else, it’s really hard for me to see that description\u00a0as a reasonable way to describe anything, especially food. In the back of my mind I’m wondering if I would rather have had them\u00a0hate<\/em> the bierocks, or called them\u00a0gross<\/em> to that alternative of\u00a0fine<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But don’t worry about me. I’ll get over it. For 29 years I’ve fought this battle, and I’m not giving up yet. I’ll be\u00a0fine<\/em>!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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