{"id":3977,"date":"2016-09-23T04:04:50","date_gmt":"2016-09-23T09:04:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/?p=3977"},"modified":"2016-08-25T11:44:37","modified_gmt":"2016-08-25T16:44:37","slug":"taking-my-own-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/taking-my-own-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Taking My Own Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\">I\u2019m really good at doling out advice. Sometimes I give advice when people ask. I talk to them about their situation, explore all the issues, and create a solution that fits their situation exactly. At other times I offer my advice unsolicited. Just ask my kids\u2026I\u2019m <i>world class<\/i> at giving out advice even when it isn\u2019t asked for. But in both those cases, I\u2019m looking from the outside. I can see things that the other person can\u2019t. It\u2019s easy to do, when you\u2019re an outside observer. Things seem so <i>obvious<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">What\u2019s a lot more difficult is seeing the same things in yourself. It\u2019s hard to look inward and see what advice you need to hear. Often it\u2019s because we don\u2019t want to hear the advice. I mean, why fix what isn\u2019t broken? If you don\u2019t acknowledge that something is broken, then you don\u2019t have to address it. Am I right?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">But that\u2019s where things get sticky. We can\u2019t see things that are broken within ourselves. At least I can\u2019t see what\u2019s broken in me. And sometimes <i>broken<\/i> doesn\u2019t mean totally non-functioning. It could be a habit that\u2019s less effective than it could be. Or something that could be a lot better if I would just think my way through it. But when you have to look in the mirror and face facts\u2026it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Really, really hard!<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-4021\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Rafiki-with-Simba.jpg?resize=300%2C225&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Rafiki with Simba\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Rafiki-with-Simba.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Rafiki-with-Simba.jpg?resize=400%2C300&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Rafiki-with-Simba.jpg?w=480&amp;ssl=1 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Personally I don\u2019t like to admit my faults. I want to be perfect, and I\u2019ll often ignore telltale signs that something\u2019s not right just to uphold that illusion for myself. It\u2019s obvious to other people, but I won\u2019t see it. This has gone on for years in some cases. In a way, it\u2019s kind of funny\u2026but from another viewpoint it\u2019s kind of pathetic. That&#8217;s partly\u00a0why I started to write this blog. Over the years I\u2019ve gathered a lot of wisdom. At times it came easily but at other times I had to be bopped on the head, several times, before the wisdom sunk in. But all that wisdom was just gathering dust in my head. I shared some of it with family and friends, but honestly they were getting a little tired of my being a know-it-all, no matter how relevant the wisdom.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">So I started writing this blog to share my\u00a0wisdom with others. And sometimes to share it with myself. I\u2019ve often written posts as a reminder of things that I\u2019ve learned and then forgotten. I write about things that are close to me because that\u2019s what I know. The posts where I\u2019m telling people things are easy for me to write. My fingers fly across the keyboard and the prose flows freely. Yet other times, I\u2019m writing more to myself. That\u2019s when things get difficult. I struggle for the words. I write, delete, write some more, edit, and engage in a battle to say exactly what I want to say. Posts will sit for days, sometimes weeks, as I try to craft them into a message that resonates. The problem is, those are the posts that are usually supposed to resonate with <b>me<\/b>. They contain something that I need to hear. A bit of advice from <i>wise me<\/i> to the <i>dumb me<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">And I don\u2019t want to hear that advice.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">So I struggle. I battle. I edit the post to within an inch of its life. Carving up bits and pieces. Rearranging the words. Hacking with a machete and intricately slicing with a scalpel. I\u2019ll sweat over the message, bleed over the tone, and generally put everything I have into the post. Then I\u2019ll post it to the blog, and more often than not\u2026ignore it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"su-pullquote su-pullquote-align-right\">As I said, I\u2019m really good at offering advice. But I suck at taking it.<\/div>As I said, I\u2019m really good at offering advice. But I suck at taking it. Sure, there are people in my life who provide great advice. Upon occasion I\u2019ll even listen to that advice and incorporate it into my life. But most of the time I balk at being told what to do. I do what I want! Who\u2019s better equipped to tell me how to live my life than I am. Those people don\u2019t know my <i>whole life<\/i>. They only see bits and pieces, like a partially complete puzzle. Supposedly I\u2019m the one who sees the whole puzzle.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">And that\u2019s the key word\u2026<i>supposedly<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I\u2019m too close to myself. I\u2019m standing inches from the mirror without the ability to look at myself in any sort of objective manner. I see what I want to see and no more. I\u2019ll <i>hear<\/i> the advice from other folks, but I won\u2019t <i>listen<\/i>. I\u2019ll even dole out advice to other people whether in person or via the blog\u2026but my <i>listening ear<\/i> is turned off. I don\u2019t even <i>listen<\/i> to myself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Frankly, it\u2019s taken me a long, long time to come to this conclusion. I\u2019ve had to endure a lot of painful experiences over and over where the same lesson has been provided\u2026and I\u2019ve failed to learn. Like dozens of times. But apparently I\u2019m a slow learner. And stubborn. And even arrogant at times. <i>Current me<\/i> seems to think he knows better than both <i>past me<\/i> and <i>future me<\/i>. Yet time and time again I\u2019m proven wrong.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-4025\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/stack-of-books-1001655_640.jpg?resize=300%2C200&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"stack-of-books-1001655_640\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/stack-of-books-1001655_640.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/stack-of-books-1001655_640.jpg?resize=400%2C266&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/stack-of-books-1001655_640.jpg?w=640&amp;ssl=1 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>So I\u2019m not really writing this post for you, dear reader. I\u2019m writing it to myself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I\u2019m writing this post as a reminder that I need to listen to <i>all<\/i> the advice that\u2019s out there. I need to <i>really listen<\/i> to it, take it in, and mix it together with all the rest of the advice. It doesn\u2019t matter if it comes from my Mom, my kids, my friends, or strangers. Heck, the advice could come from me via way of a blog post, self talk, or a reminder that I wrote years ago. No matter the source, I need to pour it into the cauldron of my brain and let it simmer with the rest. Slowly but surely I\u2019ll be able to distill a magical elixir from that cauldron. A way to live my life that is based on sound principles without the blinders that have covered my eyes for so long.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">So to future me\u2026read this and take your own advice! Listen to people. Really, truly, and honestly <i>listen<\/i>. Don\u2019t rush to conclusions, race to judgments, or close your ears. Take everything in. Then let it sit in your brain for a while.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Who knows, there may be some <i>good advice<\/i> there\u2026even from yourself!<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-post-thumb wp-image-4022\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/wisdom-92901_640.jpg?resize=400%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"wisdom-92901_640\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/wisdom-92901_640.jpg?resize=400%2C300&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/wisdom-92901_640.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/wisdom-92901_640.jpg?w=640&amp;ssl=1 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m really good at doling out advice. Sometimes I give advice when people ask. I talk to them about their situation, explore all the issues, and create a solution that fits their situation exactly. At other times I offer my advice unsolicited. Just ask my kids\u2026I\u2019m world class at giving out advice even when it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4023,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musings","category-productivity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Taking My Own Advice -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/taking-my-own-advice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Taking My Own Advice -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m really good at doling out advice. 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