![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Patience-Divider-1100x100.png?resize=900%2C82&ssl=1\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nYou\u2019d think that when a healthy young man has to go to surgery, the biggest concerns would be about the surgery itself. There are always risks involved, and honestly some of the risks are pretty serious. While it was very unlikely, it was possible that a problem during surgery could\u2019ve left him paralyzed. That\u2019s a pretty significant consequence. But being around surgeons for the past 30 years, I\u2019ve become somewhat immune to the small percentage<\/em>\u00a0concerns. It\u2019s not that I discount them, but there are certain things that you can do nothing about, so fretting over them isn\u2019t worth the energy. I\u2019ve usually taken the attitude we\u2019ll cross that bridge if we get to it<\/em>\u00a0rather than worrying myself into a tither.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I am worried about is my son overdoing it. He\u2019s a very driven individual. It\u2019s hard not to be when you compete like he does. He\u2019s also a leader on his team, and in life, for that matter. He doesn\u2019t want to let anybody down, especially his teammates or coaches. This surgery happened the day before the indoor conference track meet. His team didn\u2019t do as well as expected, partly because they didn\u2019t have the points he would\u2019ve earned. He was relegated to watching the competition on TV, rather than actually competing or even being in the stands cheering on his teammates. That was exceedingly hard for him. While his body was stiff from the surgery, and his back was somewhat swollen\u2026the aches and pains were far outweighed by the desire to be there for his team.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a Dad it was hard to watch him struggle with that, knowing full-well any attempts at traveling to the venue would\u2019ve had lasting lifelong effects<\/em>\u00a0on his back and his ability to compete in the future.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n So we watched the meet on TV and discussed his recovery.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite the fact that the doctor\u2019s orders had implored him to take it easy<\/em>, I condescended and let him walk a mile the day after surgery<\/em>. The next day we walked another mile together. His workouts usually involved anywhere from four to seven events every day, and they usually last for two to five hours\u2026so walking a mile was almost laughable. It took us 30 minutes\u2026mostly because that\u2019s the speed that I would let him go, not one bit faster.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the third day after surgery, I could tell he was getting cabin fever. His body was still slightly swollen and he was stiff, but he kept arguing that his stiffness was caused by inactivity<\/em>. Yet the doctor\u2019s orders were clear: He had to take it easy<\/em>. No weight lifting or stretching. No lifting over 5 pounds. No running. Those were easy to enforce. But as driven as he is, we had to have a very difficult discussion about all the other things he couldn\u2019t do<\/em>. That\u2019s were it got dicey, because he\u2019s not somebody to be told he can\u2019t<\/em>\u00a0do things. He\u2019s the kind of person that will find a way to do almost anything\u2026and that\u2019s where my worry lies.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, a couple of years ago he shattered his left arm while skiing. He was run into by a snowboarder, and rather than mangle the other person, he opted to partially avoid the collision\u2026and ended up running into a tree instead. After nearly seven hours of surgery, his arm full of screws and a 7-inch long plate, he was back together<\/em>. That was Christmas Eve, just 14 days after the beginning of the indoor track season. We expected he was going to be out of competition for the entire indoor season. We then assumed he might<\/em>\u00a0have a slight chance<\/em>\u00a0or returning for the very end of the outdoor season, maybe in late April or early May.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n But not my superman<\/em>. 28 days after the horrific injury (including the 11\u201d scar on his forearm), and wearing an elbow brace to end all braces, he competed in the 600 yard run at a track meet. Six days later, he competed in a heptathlon, placing third. This included the first time I\u2019d ever seen someone one-arm pole vault. Since he couldn\u2019t put much pressure on the arm, and certainly couldn\u2019t pull with it, he used the arm to help balance the pole vault pole as he ran down the runway and then simply let it go limp as his right arm did all the work of the pole vault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He proved that the estimated six-month recovery could be compressed into a single month. And while it might not have been the smartest move, he proved what he was made of. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yet your arm, not matter how badly shattered and held together by screws, glue, and a plate is a lot different than your back. If something went wrong with the arm\u2019s healing, it was much easier to take a day off. He could still use his other arm. He could even go to the gym and do lifting with the good arm or do leg day. He came up with all sorts of workarounds.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the other hand, your back is impacted by everything you do. And it\u2019s not well-designed for healing. The blood flow is different. The muscles pull in all sorts of directions. And honestly it\u2019s pretty hard to move your back in ways that are safe. The surgeon made it crystal-clear that there was a 40% chance of re-injury if the protocols weren\u2019t followed. In fact, the incidence of re-injury was higher than that. He didn\u2019t try to scare us, so much as outline the difficulties in getting the back to heal properly. The biggest thing he focused on was giving it time<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s where I keep seeing the red flag<\/strong>. There\u2019s going to be a lot of patience required during this healing process\u2026and that\u2019s not my son\u2019s strong suit. In fact, that\u2019s a suit he usually doesn\u2019t have in his hand at all!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The hardest thing for him is going to be dialing back his desire to workout. His modus operandi<\/em>\u00a0is to over-train. He\u2019s got the attitude that there are tons of folks who are more talented that he is. There are loads of athletes who have more physical gifts than he has. He can\u2019t control those things. But the one thing he can control is how hard he works<\/em>. His basic premise is that no one will outwork him<\/em>. If he loses to someone who has more gifts\u2026that\u2019s life. But he\u2019s never going to be out-hustled. Period.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n But right now, hustle<\/em> is the one thing he can\u2019t use. He has to use patience<\/em>. And that\u2019s almost the exact opposite of hustle.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a Dad, it\u2019s hard for me to be living four hours away. He\u2019s an awful texter, so it\u2019s difficult to get updates from him. And he\u2019s not one to chat on the phone. He\u2019s usually too busy\u2026at least that\u2019s the reason he gives us. And frankly, when looking at his schedule, I think that\u2019s truly been a reasonable reason. But now he can\u2019t workout for hours each day. I\u2019m hoping we\u2019ll be able to loosen those lines of communication a little bit. I know he\u2019s going to need moral support and<\/strong>\u00a0he\u2019s going to need somebody to help him through his desire to overdo things. I was going to write\u00a0\u201cride herd on him<\/em>\u201d, but that\u2019s not really correct. At the end of the day, he\u2019s going to have to decide what his body can handle. But I\u2019m firmly of the belief that I had to be the other angel on his shoulder reminding him to be patient<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s gonna be a tough job! A couple weeks ago my 24 year-old son had to have back surgery to resolve a bulging disc. This isn\u2019t something you think is going to be required, especially considering that he\u2019s a two-time All-American Decathlete! But all the training and competing in ten different track and field events had taken its toll, and his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4481,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[137,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-approaches","category-parenting"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Patience-Divider-1100x100.png?fit=900%2C82&ssl=1\")
<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"