{"id":4535,"date":"2019-06-12T03:45:38","date_gmt":"2019-06-12T08:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/?p=4535"},"modified":"2019-06-10T10:06:31","modified_gmt":"2019-06-10T15:06:31","slug":"does-this-bring-me-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/does-this-bring-me-joy\/","title":{"rendered":"Does This Bring Me Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I grew up in the super-boonie suburbs of Chicago. Actually, it was rural Illinois with more in common with Wisconsin dairyland than Chicago\u2019s hustle and bustle. Everyone who lived around us were salt-of-the-Earth folks. From farmer\u2019s to business people, everybody was a hard worker. The parents of my friends had all lived through the Great Depression, World War II, and the Korean War. They&#8217;d seen truly hard times and made sacrifices throughout their lives. While you didn\u2019t see it all the time, there would be flashes of those difficult times in their faces. And as the Vietnam War scaled upwards, these were the folks that looked so distraught over the carnage on TV. They were the faces of concern and concentration in Church on Sunday.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Essentially, these were very serious people, but folks who got on with life despite all the hardships they had seen. No &nbsp;challenge was too great for them to conquer.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Heck, these were faces that mirrored the faces working on the NASA Space Missions\u2026the folks who made the Moon Landing happen. When President Kennedy said, \u201cAsk not what your country can do for you \u2014 ask what you can do for your country\u201d, they took it to heart. Then lowered their heads, went to work\u2026and helped create a virtual miracle.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Honestly, I\u2019m not sure the people born since have had quite that fortitude. It seems like we\u2019ve gotten softer and softer with each passing generation. I freely admit that I make fun of many of the things millennials concern themselves with. I recently saw a list of the <a href=\"https:\/\/forums.catholic.com\/t\/stress-mess-3-in-5-millennials-say-life-more-stressful-than-ever-before\/541976\">things that cause the most stress to millennials<\/a>. The list was really depressing\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>20. Washing dishes\u00a0<\/li><li>19. Choosing what to wear\u00a0<\/li><li>18. Job security\u00a0<\/li><li>17. School loan payments\u00a0<\/li><li>16. Check engine light coming on\u00a0<\/li><li>15. Credit card bills\u00a0<\/li><li>14. Phone screen breaking\u00a0<\/li><li>13. Job interviews\u00a0<\/li><li>12. Paying bills\u00a0<\/li><li>11. Losing or misplacing keys\u00a0<\/li><li>10. Forgetting phone charger\u00a0<\/li><li>9. Credit card fraud\u00a0<\/li><li>8. Forgetting passwords\u00a0<\/li><li>7. Phone battery dying\u00a0<\/li><li>6. Slow WiFi\u00a0<\/li><li>5. Arriving late to work\u00a0<\/li><li>4. Losing phone\u00a0<\/li><li>3. Commute or traffic delays\u00a0<\/li><li>2. Arguing with partner\u00a0<\/li><li>1. Losing wallet or credit card\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the kind of list that makes folks from <a href=\"http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/533632\/new-guidelines-redefine-birth-years-millennials-gen-x-and-post-millennials\"><em>The Silent Generation<\/em><\/a>&nbsp;laugh at their younger brethren and mock them mercilessly. These are minor hassles in life. Nothing truly life-threatening, or even life-altering is on that list.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While it\u2019s interesting to ponder the list and worry about kids nowadays (<a href=\"http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/533632\/new-guidelines-redefine-birth-years-millennials-gen-x-and-post-millennials\">and those<\/a> &#8220;<em><a href=\"http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/533632\/new-guidelines-redefine-birth-years-millennials-gen-x-and-post-millennials\">kids<\/a><\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/533632\/new-guidelines-redefine-birth-years-millennials-gen-x-and-post-millennials\"><em>&#8220;<\/em><\/a>\u00a0are actually 22-37 years old), it\u2019s really them as <em>parents<\/em>\u00a0of kids that we need to worry about. What the heck are the values they\u2019re passing along to the grade-schoolers of today?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I didn\u2019t set out to write this post to bash the millennials among us. So don\u2019t fret, I\u2019ve actually got a point to make about something we can <em>learn<\/em>&nbsp;from them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Quite recently I was introduced to the personal question \u201cDoes this bring me joy\u201d. It was one of those cases of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.meaningfulhq.com\/reticular-activating-system-function.html\"><em>reticular activation<\/em><\/a>. You know, that situation where you\u2019re thinking about buying a yellow car and all of the sudden you see yellow cars all over the place. Where were they before? Why didn\u2019t you see them? Well, they were all in exactly the same place before, you just weren\u2019t attuned to noticing them. But when your brain starts to focus on something, it then notices that thing in all sorts of places. It\u2019s weird but man, oh man, is it effective.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Back to my point, I happened to hear somebody mention they\u2019d heard two millennials in a coffee shop and one had asked the other \u201cbut does it bring you joy?\u201d. I immediately thought to myself, \u201cwhat a stupid question\u201d. Yet within the next week I\u2019d heard or read dozens of instances where that question was posed. And it began to grow on me. The little seed sprouted into something I couldn\u2019t ignore.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t get me wrong, while I\u2019m definitely aged amongst the <a href=\"http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/533632\/new-guidelines-redefine-birth-years-millennials-gen-x-and-post-millennials\"><em>Baby Boomers<\/em><\/a>\u00a0(also known as the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Me_generation\"><em>Me Generation<\/em><\/a>), I don\u2019t feel like I fit in. Most of what I tend to do is in service of my family nowadays, and when I was younger I spent a lot more time doing things for the family and the communitythan I did for myself. Heck, at one point with seven kids playing youth soccer I was coaching eight teams for the local YMCA\u2026and I didn\u2019t even have kids on two of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In each instance I had an assistant coach I was tutoring so they could go out and coach teams of their own. I did that for almost 10 years. When I retired from coaching I felt I\u2019d done my part, having taught hundreds of kids the game of soccer and mentored dozens of parents on how to coach the game. Every once in a while I\u2019ll hear one of my catch phrases as a youth soccer game (\u201ckick it to the cookie\/cream\u201d, \u201ckeep your feet stuck in the mud\u201d, etc.) and I\u2019ll immediately know the impact I had.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>So when the seed of \u201cdoes this bring me joy\u201d started to sprout, it felt weird. Too <em>me-centric<\/em>. Almost selfish.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that danged reticular activation kept working on me and I kept hearing and seeing the phrase. And the idea not only took root, but began to grow. Always tempered by my outward focus, but growing nonetheless.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the germ of the idea\u2026while there are things we have to do in life we don\u2019t want to do, some of those things are simply necessary. Getting your drivers license renewed, for instance. Doing your taxes. Cleaning the toilets. The list goes on and on. You can\u2019t avoid them and some of them are downright miserable. My least favorite, changing the cat\u2019s litter box!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>But there are other things we don\u2019t really have to do, yet we engage in them because we <em>think<\/em>\u00a0we have to. For example, complaining about something. Think about that for a second. When you\u2019re complaining, does it really <em>give you joy<\/em>? I\u2019m not judging either way, I\u2019m just recommending you ask yourself that question. If it does bring you joy, then maybe it\u2019s worth continuing. But if <em>complaining<\/em>\u00a0just makes you miserable\u2026why do it? There\u2019s no law that says you have to complain, gripe, and whine (or <em>whinge<\/em> if you\u2019re in the UK).\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So this week, as you\u2019re getting ready to do something, think about whether it gives you joy. If it\u2019s something you can avoid, then maybe your should. On the other hand, if it\u2019s something that does <em>give you joy<\/em>, by all means, forge ahead. I\u2019m not recommending you be <em>totally selfish<\/em>\u00a0and avoid your responsibilities. But for those optional things\u2026maybe you ought to consider dropping the ones that don\u2019t give you joy.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"830\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=830%2C100&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?w=830&amp;ssl=1 830w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=300%2C36&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=768%2C93&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Maroon-Curly-Divider.png?resize=400%2C48&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 830px) 100vw, 830px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I grew up in the super-boonie suburbs of Chicago. Actually, it was rural Illinois with more in common with Wisconsin dairyland than Chicago\u2019s hustle and bustle. Everyone who lived around us were salt-of-the-Earth folks. From farmer\u2019s to business people, everybody was a hard worker. The parents of my friends had all lived through the Great [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4536,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,7,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musings","category-perfectionist","category-productivity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Does This Bring Me Joy -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hectic-dad.com\/hectic-dad\/does-this-bring-me-joy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Does This Bring Me Joy -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I grew up in the super-boonie suburbs of Chicago. Actually, it was rural Illinois with more in common with Wisconsin dairyland than Chicago\u2019s hustle and bustle. Everyone who lived around us were salt-of-the-Earth folks. From farmer\u2019s to business people, everybody was a hard worker. 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