This weekend marked the last of the three graduations that we had for May 2014. We had previously attended the University of Colorado, Boulder graduation. It was quite a spectacle, held at the UCB Folsom Football stadium. While the weather didn’t really cooperate, with a cold snap that made it a bit of a challenge, the departmental graduation was amazing. It was a great weekend, and despite the fact that the graduation was early in May, several of the Hectic Family were able to make it out there. The following week we had our fifth graduation from Hutchinson High School. These are a pretty low-key affair, with the principal’s primary goal to get everybody graduated and out of the building in about an hour. Considering that there are nearly 400 graduates every year, and they all walk across the stage, this is quite a feat. Having watched so many of these kids grow up through the years it’s always fun to go to this graduation. 

Our final graduation for 2014 was the Buena Vista University graduation for our older twin daughter. She graduated with high honors in both Biology and Spanish. I’ve written about BVU before. It’s most endearing quality is that it’s a pretty small school. In fact, it’s small enough that each graduate, after walking across the stage, receiving their diploma, and having their official photo take, was greeted (and in most cases hugged) by members of their departmental faculty. That really solidified the feeling of family and how close the faculty and students are at that wonderful University.

We then had the opportunity to share the better part of the afternoon with our daughter and six or seven of her closest friends and their families. BVU is located in Storm Lake, IA…right on the lake. The graduation was held in the field house, and afterwards we retired across the street to a house owned by the University that the students were able to sign out for the day. We played yard games, grilled, played in the lake, and generally had a very relaxing afternoon.

The following day we had the additional opportunity to spend the a good part of the day with one of our daughter’s Spanish professors…and quite honestly one of the biggest influences in her college career. He came to BVU at the start of her Sophomore year, and sparked a renewed interested and deeper desire to include the study of Spanish in her college curriculum. He was a major factor in her high level of fluency, her travels to Belize, Chile, and even Antarctica. His family took her in as one of their own and made her stay in tiny Storm Lake vastly more than I ever imagined it could be.

Our daughter entered college as a somewhat shy, very academically oriented student who had been recruited as both a Dean’s Fellow as well as a soccer player. She started every game for the Beavers over a four-year career, completed two degrees in the best fashion possible, had significant credits towards another degree in Psychology, traveled the world as part of the summer and J-Term (January term) programs, and generally got the most out of college that anyone could have imagined. Thinking back, she grew and expanded her horizons far beyond her somewhat humble upbringing. The opportunities that not only were available to her, but that were strongly suggested and promoted were amazing.

The graduation weekend was a success, but oddly I don’t feel like we’ve reached the end of the journey. I had anticipated that when we finished with the graduation and the travel home, not to mention the unpacking of the van and cars, I would feel some sort of relief. Or a sense of completion. Or something related to “being done”. Oddly though, the next steps in life are looming ahead, so it feels more like a tiny moment of rest before getting on with life.

As I was driving back from Storm Lake to Kansas, I had seven hours to think about the changes that have occurred in our family over the past month. I’ve written before about how our familiar pattern based on the school year is changing. For the first time in our life as a family, we will have more people who are not bound by an academic calendar year than are bound by it. My oldest is out in the working world in New Jersey. Our younger twin is actively looking at work opportunities before pursuing graduate work, and our older twin who just graduated is looking at short to medium-term internships before pursing a graduate degree. Our older son will be entering the U.S. Army’s basic training in a few short days and will follow that with Advanced Individual Training. That will end in December and he’ll then enroll in college at Pittsburg State University in January.

That means that I will have one college student, two high school students, and one elementary student who will start school in the Fall. That’s only half my kids whose lives will be timed to the traditional academic calendar that has run our lives since as far back as I can remember. Our oldest started in pre-school in 1993…so we’ve been doing the school-calendar thing for a really long time. It’s going to be odd to have a different metronome for half the kids.

But that also brings up the thought that our family will have opportunities that we’ve never had. This afternoon I will be working to coordinate trips for three or four of us to visit out oldest daughter in New Jersey. Each of the trips will be separate, so it’s going to take some planning. At least two trips, and possibly three will be by car (nearly 30 hours of driving each). One will be by plane and train (and yes, possibly automobile).

It’s an exciting time for our whole family. As the control freak in the family, it’s also a bit scary as everybody now has ideas and plans that haven’t started with me. I’m learning to let go of the reins a little bit, but it’s tough. I want to know exactly what everybody has planned. Sometimes it’s to make sure that we’re being efficient, but often it’s because I’ve always been the one in control.

So this summer I’m going to be learning a new way to interact with my kids and family as a whole. Frankly that’s kind of scary!