While I’ve talked about change as being good, it’s also important to remember that it’s not easy. Occasionally it’s helpful to be reminded that we are who we are, and while we’re working on change we also need to recognize that our habits have been formed over a very long time, so it’s going to take a while to modify them.

 Sometimes you hear a story and it sticks with you. I honestly don’t remember the first time I heard this, but it was a long time ago. It’s one of those stories that has grown on me over time. This is a great example of somebody who recognizes who he is, and despite his desire to be otherwise, he’s doing what he does best.

The Scorpion and the Monkey

On a warm summer morning in Africa, a scorpion and a monkey were sitting on a riverbank. The scorpion said that he would like to get to the other side of the river, but he didn’t know how to swim. The monkey cheerfully offered to allow the scorpion to ride on his back, since the monkey was a very accomplished swimmer.

The scorpion declined the offer, saying “It’s not prudent for me to ride on your back across the river. I am a scorpion, so when we get to the middle of the river, I will sting you and you will die”. Astonished, the monkey replied “That makes no sense, if you sting me in the middle of the river, not only will I die, but you will drown as well”.

Back and forth the two argued. The scorpion against the trip and monkey in favor, despite the risk. Finally, the monkey said “I know you can control yourself, you won’t sting me. Climb onto my back and I will take you across the river”.

The scorpion reluctantly agreed, and out into the current they went. The monkey was a very capable swimmer, and despite the fast current they were soon at the middle of the river. At that very moment, the scorpion raised his tail and struck the monkey in his neck, driving his deadly poison into the monkey.

With his dying breath, the monkey pleaded “Why did you do that?” to which the scorpion replied “I am a scorpion, and that is what we do”.

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While it’s kind of a depressing story, the moral is really worth thinking about. Far too many times I’ve set out to do something extraordinary, often beyond my comfort zone. I repeatedly tell myself that I can do this. I give myself pep talks. I make a plan. I used my focus, commit, execute, and complete mantra to zero in on what needs to be done.

And then, in the heat of action I revert to my former habits. It’s frustrating. In fact, sometimes it downright demoralizing. Yet it happens time after time. At times like those, I think about the monkey and the scorpion and wonder if they ever could have gotten across the river.

One thing that I’m trying that seems to be showing some hope is taking baby steps towards new goals. Rather than trying to swim the entire river, I set out to swim 20 feet from the bank, then I return. If the metaphorical scorpion on my back has been kept at bay, I’ll try 40 feet the next time. If things seem questionable or I’m not sure that I can move forward, I’ll back up and repeat the prior steps.  But I’ll keep at it until I’m making a little progress every day.

I like to think that the scorpion would be able to change his habits given enough time and interest.

This approach seems to be working for me on a couple of fronts.

So, do you have a habit that you’re having trouble modifying. How about trying to change it just a tiny bit at a time? You never know…it might work!